The Cauldron of Chemical X
by csyphrett
Summary: Professor Utonium has to deal with Jack Spicer and Wuya wrecking his house.


The Cauldron of Chemical X

Grandmaster Dashi battled the Heylin for years. To help him in his quest, he created the Sheng Gong Wu. These mystical artifacts granted weird abilities to anyone who dared use them. It didn't matter if it was only a cauldron that created monsters.

Only the wearer determined how to use the talisman he had, and could fight in a showdown in a struggle for possession for another artifact.

Only the bearers of the Wu could call for a xiaolin showdown.

Professor Utonium looked up from his work. He listened. That sounded like a buzzsaw working upstairs. Were the girls playing with something dangerous again? He should go up and make sure they weren't putting holes in the house again.

Their ability to carve things with their eyes had been an unexpected surprise. On the other hand, their room had needed windows. No one wants to look at a wall until they fall asleep.

The Professor put his experiment away in storage to try to keep it safe. He thought he heard voices now. Maybe the girls were home from school sooner than he expected.

He walked up the steps leading to the rest of the house. His lab was in a basement area under the main floor of the house. A third floor held his bedroom and the girls' room. The main floor was open with spaces marked for a dining area and kitchen.

A strange group paused when they saw him climb out of the stairwell to his lab. They focused all their attention on him. He put his hands in his pockets and frowned.

"What's going on here?," asked the Professor. "You've wrecked some expensive furnishings, young man."

"That's too bad," said the young leader of the group. He wore a black lab coat and pants. A pair of goggles decorated his forehead. His red hair stuck up like a rooster comb. "We're looking for the Cauldron of Creation. We know you have it, so hand it over."

The Professor looked at the boy. Then he looked at the eight floating tin cans behind the boy. One of the robots had a saw rotating at the end of an arm instead of a hand. That one had cut his couch apart from the looks of things. A floating clown face with a cloud of gas trailing behind it hovered close to the boy's shoulder.

"I don't know what you're talking about," said the Professor. He longed for his pipe. This was a situation that required some smoking.

"You don't know that you have an artifact in your custody that can be used to create things from the right ingredients?," said the bag of wind.

"I have my brain," said the Professor. "I don't need an artifact to create things. I think you should leave some money to make repairs, and then leave. I have work to do."

"I'm Jack Spicer, evil boy genius," said the red headed intruder. "We're going to search this house until we find what we're looking for, and you won't get in our way."

"I don't think my girls will like that," said the Professor. "And I know I don't. I think you should all leave before there's trouble."

"Who cares about your girls?," asked Jack. "I can beat up some girls. I'm an evil boy genius."

The Professor frowned at those words. He wished he had his pipe. A little pipe smoke always made him more relaxed so he could think about his problems more rationally.

While a peaceable man by nature, this Jack Spicer was offending his love of science, his home, and his good temper and protectiveness of his girls. One of those three was bad enough, but all three of them at the same time was starting to make his blood boil.

It was time to teach this Jack Spicer a lesson about how he should respect other people and their property.

His girls had excellent hearing. He should ask them to come home from school for a little bit and fix this problem.

He didn't want to do that, but Spicer had five or six evil flying robots. He didn't have access to his lab and the equipment he needed to take robots apart with the enemy almost at the threshold to his work area.

"Girls, I need you," said the Professor. "I need you to come home right now."

"There's nobody else in the house," said the clown face. "Who are you talking to?"

Three bright streaks of light turned into three little girls in pastel dresses. They stood between the Professor and Spicer's gang.

"Girls, this is Jack Spicer, evil boy genius, and his associates," said the Professor. "Bad guys, these are my girls, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup."

Blossom was a redhead wearing pink. Bubbles was a blond that wore blue. Buttercup was a brunette that wore green. They all glared at Spicer.

"Your girls are the Powerpuffs?," said Spicer. He looked scared out of his mind.

"That's right, Bozo," said Buttercup. "It looks like you're just in time to be turned into a punching bag."

"We got to get out of here," said Jack. "Jackbots attack!"

The bronze tincans unfolded guns from their torsos. They opened fire on the girls and the Professor. The girls ran interference so the Professor could run for cover. He wasn't as bulletproof as they were.

"All right, girls," said Blossom. "Let's take those robots apart."

The girls turned into bright streaks of their signature colors. The Jackbots exploded on impact as the Powerpuffs rammed them out of existence.

"You two are next," said Buttercup.

"I'm not scared of you," said Jack. He pulled on a gauntlet of metal. "Let's see what you got."

"You're not scared of these super girls?," asked the ghost.

"Fist of Tibegon!," shouted Jack. He brought his fist down against the floor. He punched through the floor and fell into the Professor's lab.

"Jack!," said the cloud. "What is he doing now?"

The girls streaked through the hole. They paused when they saw Jack had the Professor by the neck. He held up his fist. One blow would take out the Professor for good.

"All I want is the Cauldron of Creation," said Jack. "I'll pulp his head to get to what I'm talking about."

"Let me explain something to you, evil boy genius," said Blossom. She floated in the air under the hole in the ceiling. "There are three reasons why you don't want to do that."

"Really?," said Spicer. "Enlighten me, small fry."

"The first reason is the most obvious," said Blossom. She held up her hands to count her three reasons off. "If you hurt the Professor, he won't be able to tell you where to find what you're looking to steal.

"The second is he's your only bargaining chip. If you hurt him, you won't have any way to get out of this lab alive.

"The third is you won't get out of this lab alive."

Jack's eyes shifted as he tried to decide what would save his life at the moment. Everyone knew what happened if you messed with the Powerpuffs. How had he gotten into this mess. He decided that overconfidence had been a key factor in his decision making process.

He needed to get out of this basement without losing anything important like a body part. He pulled the Professor to a table supporting racks of chemicals. He scanned the labels as he thought about what he could do to get out of the situation without having to fight the Powerpuff Girls.

He decided that maybe an explosion would be in his best interest at the moment.

"You're right," said Spicer. "I could never get away from you girls."

"What are you doing, Jack?," demanded the clown face. "We can't give up like this."

"We don't have a chance against the Powderpuff Girls, Wuya," said Jack.

"Powerpuff Girls," said Buttercup, arms folded across her chest.

"What she said," said Jack.

"So why don't you let go of the Professor, and we'll put you in jail," said Bubbles. "Wouldn't that be great?"

"I have an even better idea than that," said Jack. He raked the chemistry set up to the floor. The tubes and beakers smashed on the floor, mixing their contents together into a cloud of smoke.

"Here's your precious Professor," said Jack. He threw the scientist through the cloud into a cleared area of the room. "Fist of Tibegon."

A burst of fire and light erupted from the mixed chemicals. The cloud started eating everything around it, burning it to ash as it expanded.

"We have to keep the cloud from wrecking the house," choked out the Professor.

"We have to get you to the hospital," said Bubbles. "The house doesn't matter if you die."

"Here," said Blossom. She wrote down a list of the chemicals that had been on the table when they had been knocked over. "Take this and give it to the Emergency Room people. Take him, Bubbles. Buttercup and I will handle the rest of this."

"Right," said Bubbles. She snatched the paper. A streak of light followed her and the Professor's disappearance.

"All right, Buttercup," said Blossom. "Get as much dirt as you can. We won't be able to put this out with water."

"Right," said Buttercup. She vanished in a streak of green.

Blossom looked around for the fire extinguisher the Professor stored in his lab. It was one of his preparations for when something blew up.

She found it after a second of searching. She popped the top and sprayed the flames down with the foam. She smiled at the way the fire seemed to dampen down and the smoke cleared slightly.

Buttercup arrived with a pile of dirt and sand. She dropped the pile on the remains of fire. It went out instantly.

"Good job, Buttercup," said Blossom. "I think this is what they were looking for."

She held up a cauldron with several markings around the base.

"I want you to hide this on the moon while I talk to Jack Spicer and his friend," said Blossom. "Then meet me at the hospital. We'll clean the rest of this up later."

"You get all the fun stuff," said Buttercup. She grabbed the pot and headed up into the sky.

Blossom smiled slightly. She flew through the hole and caught Jack Spicer as he flew away in his flying car. A streak of pink took the car apart in a few seconds. She grabbed Spicer before he fell far. His ghost ally floated nearby.

"This is my sole warning to the two of you," said Blossom. "If either of you bother the Professor again, I will take you apart with my bare hands and keep those parts in your fancy glove."

She shook Spicer so fast he looked like he'd grown two extra heads.

"You understand?," she asked when she was through using Spicer for a Shake Weight.

"Yes, ma'am," said Spicer.

"Yes," said Wuya.

"Good," said Blossom. She dropped Spicer off at the jail. He was underage, but maybe something would happen while he was waiting to be bailed out by his parents.


End file.
